Bleakness! Despair! Despondency! Mystery! Gloom! Turmoil! It is hovering over every niche of my studio where I sweat. I am perching on a tilted seat, alongside a half-tinted pane. Pitch black darkness has presently descended everywhere. Signalling that, it is nearing midnight, and it is slumber time. I am distrusting my feelings which are inaccurate due to this state of mind. An insignificant shift in noise is freaking me out from top to bottom. I am bewildered, and my body is in a state of being paralyzed.
Can I jump spontaneously after this hindrance in my trail?
I am unable to constrain my apprehension at this terrifying hour. And I have a strong intuition that disaster has cornered me. What occurred, how it happened and why was I targeted this time? Various scenes are flashing unwaveringly one by one in my head. I am unable to react at the moment, and I cannot hold them further. They are emerging randomly, taking diverse forms and vanishing. Was I too naive and oblivious to brush the crisis advancing my way? Did not I possess a well structured, infallible back-up strategy? Was I in a hurry to get over it and reluctant not to revise the plan?
“Every time you think you’re being rejected, God’s actually redirecting you to something better. Ask Him to give you the strength to press forward.”
–Nick Vujicic.
It is not very unusual for the system to crash.
The failure to overpower the situation was unforeseen.
I was overconfident about my layout, is it?
But sorry, I had not anticipated it to befall upon me that way. My blunder might be laying in over-analysis, fluster and over-looking the circumstances as a combination of trivial ones. It might have shown the path to disappointment and intractable. Everyone around me voiced their opinion that it is natural but I cannot keep a check on my overbearing emotion from flooding. Guilt pricking every corner of my troubled and wounded psyche.
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” -J.K.Rowling
The crash had hit me hard, but it also pulled me back to reality. I can envision my next scheme, my future with added clarity, now. I do not want to replicate the identical blunder tomorrow or ever. Patience is the key to triumph, and perseverance guides the process. Loser stands lonely and targeted to undesired media attention. Today I am a failure in the eyes of every known character but next day I will again attain your loyalty and transformed into a trustworthy person. Keeping the faith in my mind that the most damaging calamity has irrevocably ended. Tough times have taught me loads and pushed me to emerge as a strong-willed person.
I am convinced my time will arrive, and ultimately, I will glow in the twilight.
Today is not my day, making me wail, but tomorrow will unfold a breakthrough by me, and it will inscribe a unique accomplishment story.
